What not to do when negotiating

Despite your best efforts, one wrong move can tank a negotiation. We spoke with Molly Fletcher, consultant and author of A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done, about common negotiation blunders to avoid.

1. Don’t wing it.

The key to a successful negotiation is to be prepared, which means much more than knowing numbers and facts.

“Failing to prepare is preparing to fail,” Fletcher cautioned. “Preparation means gathering and understanding the hard data — for example, your comparables — but it also means having 360-degree awareness.”

Preparing properly means knowing the needs, values, hopes and fears of the decision-maker and other parties. This means not assuming that anything is nonnegotiable.

“Gather as much data as you can in advance, and be prepared to ask strong diagnostic questions to gain clarity,” Fletcher said. “There is rarely a clear roadmap within a negotiation.”

The more prepared you are, the better you’ll be able to navigate the negotiation.

2. Don’t rush.

Negotiations take time, especially if you want them to go smoothly. For example, it’s crucial to take the time to establish a genuine relationship with the other party.

“Share a little piece of personal information that signals your openness and desire for connection,” Fletcher advised. “Doing so can shift a negotiation from an adversarial battle to a productive conversation.”

Additionally, don’t be afraid to build in pauses, as they can help everyone regain perspective and remove undue emotions.

“A negotiation doesn’t have to happen all at once,” Fletcher said. Taking the time to communicate and negotiate effectively can help you build and maintain good business relationships for the long term.

3. Don’t take anything personally.

Fletcher recognizes that it can be easy to let your emotions get the better of you during a negotiation, especially if the outcome affects you personally. But getting too emotional will hurt your cause.

Fletcher’s advice for making it through unscathed? “Challenge yourself to turn moments where you feel attacked and defensive into moments of curiosity where you can gain feedback,” she said. “Emotion can easily be used against you in a negotiation.”

Fletcher also advised being aware of your emotional triggers and knowing how to pull back when you feel things shifting in the wrong direction…[MORE]